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Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
man-eater...
ive been dating my boyfriend for like 3 and a half years.
it started off beautifully. but now, not so much.
i let him embed himself in my life & my kids' lives. thinking that he would step up to the plate and be man and make full commitment to me & them - to be a husband and a father.
but, now, im not thinking so.
we've argued about it, and im tired of arguing.
im bitter.
im a bitch.
and it just grates on my nerves all the time.
how can you sit there and "act" like a dad, but yet not be willing to actually make a commitment to these 2 kids that you CLAIM to love?
WTF????
im thinking that im about to pull the plug on the whole operation.
im tired of waiting.
im tired of being an outsider.
im just fucking tired.
and my kids??? they deserve fucking better.
anyone got advice???? whatcha think????
it started off beautifully. but now, not so much.
i let him embed himself in my life & my kids' lives. thinking that he would step up to the plate and be man and make full commitment to me & them - to be a husband and a father.
but, now, im not thinking so.
we've argued about it, and im tired of arguing.
im bitter.
im a bitch.
and it just grates on my nerves all the time.
how can you sit there and "act" like a dad, but yet not be willing to actually make a commitment to these 2 kids that you CLAIM to love?
WTF????
im thinking that im about to pull the plug on the whole operation.
im tired of waiting.
im tired of being an outsider.
im just fucking tired.
and my kids??? they deserve fucking better.
anyone got advice???? whatcha think????
random ass stuff...
random shit is running thru my head...
i really need to mow my yard
i wonder if my doc would give me antidepressants
i wonder if i actually NEED them, or if im being a big ol sissy ass
my 4 year old kills me. she fancies herself married to another 4 year old boy at the sitters house.
i think someone paid my internet bill... cuz it didnt work last week, and i KNOW i havent paid it....
my best friend is awesome.
im so glad her pregnancy is healthy & that the heartbeat was heard today!!!!
i cant wait til all of my prego friends have their babies. i need a baby fix.
i need money.
i really need to find a lucrative way to work from home and spend more time with the kids.
damn daycare is expensive.
i wish my boyfriend wasnt an ass. seriously, is commitment THAT fucking difficult?
wait, do i even WANT that commitment????
ugh.
i want some grape salad.
i need a life.
people, in general, suck.
im still blown away by the fact that my boss's kid (who is an employee) was playing with a fucking bouncy ball in the fucking office. WTF.
and sooooooooooo much more....
i really need to mow my yard
i wonder if my doc would give me antidepressants
i wonder if i actually NEED them, or if im being a big ol sissy ass
my 4 year old kills me. she fancies herself married to another 4 year old boy at the sitters house.
i think someone paid my internet bill... cuz it didnt work last week, and i KNOW i havent paid it....
my best friend is awesome.
im so glad her pregnancy is healthy & that the heartbeat was heard today!!!!
i cant wait til all of my prego friends have their babies. i need a baby fix.
i need money.
i really need to find a lucrative way to work from home and spend more time with the kids.
damn daycare is expensive.
i wish my boyfriend wasnt an ass. seriously, is commitment THAT fucking difficult?
wait, do i even WANT that commitment????
ugh.
i want some grape salad.
i need a life.
people, in general, suck.
im still blown away by the fact that my boss's kid (who is an employee) was playing with a fucking bouncy ball in the fucking office. WTF.
and sooooooooooo much more....
Thursday, July 9, 2009
TMI THURSDAY....i dont know....but she's pretty....
***Alright, folks, you know LiLu’s rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!
The most MORTIFYING moment in my life....
I had been seeing a guy for a few months... We went out and got F'd up big time one night.... Went back to his house (read: his parents house where he lived in the basement), and, ahem, proceeded to get our freak on ALLLLLL night long (gotta love alcohol induced sex)…
Anyway, after an hour or two of sleep, we wake up and are gettin all crazy-like again.
The door to his room is open.
His parents are up.
Oh no, just wait, it gets better.
Just as its about to get really fun, we hear someone on the stairs.
Its his MOM.
And she just walks right on in…
So here I am covered with nothing but a sheet, look like a totally hot mess after a night of monkey sex and drinking, trying to hide under a pillow…. While she stands next to the bed RUBBING MY LEG and talking to her son.
Oh, lets make matters worse shall we???
The phone rings, she answers, its his SISTER.
(note: we had gone out drinking with his sister a few weeks prior to that, and had an absolute BALL. So, shes familiar with me…)
So as his mom stands there next to the bed (still rubbing my leg) talking to his sister on the phone and him laying there… the following conversation goes on:
Mom: “oh hi sis. Im not doing much. Just standing here in brothers room. He has a girl in his bed”
Sister says something to the effect of, “a girl??? Who is she???”
Mom: “oh, I have no idea yet, but shes really pretty”
That sound you hear right now?? Yea, that’s me……… DYING.
To which Mister Man responds “tell her its kitty in bed with me” (kitty being the nickname I earned for drinking like a fish the night we went out with his sister ala Kitty Dukakis).
So yea, now, the man, sister & mom proceed to talk about me and who I am, like im not even there…. Which, I preferably would NOT have been, given a choice.
Three and a half years later, its still a story for family parties
The most MORTIFYING moment in my life....
I had been seeing a guy for a few months... We went out and got F'd up big time one night.... Went back to his house (read: his parents house where he lived in the basement), and, ahem, proceeded to get our freak on ALLLLLL night long (gotta love alcohol induced sex)…
Anyway, after an hour or two of sleep, we wake up and are gettin all crazy-like again.
The door to his room is open.
His parents are up.
Oh no, just wait, it gets better.
Just as its about to get really fun, we hear someone on the stairs.
Its his MOM.
And she just walks right on in…
So here I am covered with nothing but a sheet, look like a totally hot mess after a night of monkey sex and drinking, trying to hide under a pillow…. While she stands next to the bed RUBBING MY LEG and talking to her son.
Oh, lets make matters worse shall we???
The phone rings, she answers, its his SISTER.
(note: we had gone out drinking with his sister a few weeks prior to that, and had an absolute BALL. So, shes familiar with me…)
So as his mom stands there next to the bed (still rubbing my leg) talking to his sister on the phone and him laying there… the following conversation goes on:
Mom: “oh hi sis. Im not doing much. Just standing here in brothers room. He has a girl in his bed”
Sister says something to the effect of, “a girl??? Who is she???”
Mom: “oh, I have no idea yet, but shes really pretty”
That sound you hear right now?? Yea, that’s me……… DYING.
To which Mister Man responds “tell her its kitty in bed with me” (kitty being the nickname I earned for drinking like a fish the night we went out with his sister ala Kitty Dukakis).
So yea, now, the man, sister & mom proceed to talk about me and who I am, like im not even there…. Which, I preferably would NOT have been, given a choice.
Three and a half years later, its still a story for family parties
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