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Wednesday, September 9, 2009

30.... ick. seriously?!?!?!?!

yea, so in about 65 days i turn 30.

im so not happy about this, i dont even have the words to describe it.

like, stupid shit...

ill have to check the 30-35 box.
im no longer "in my twenties"
im like an adult, for real (nevermind that ive been a mom since before i hit 20, or that ive owned a house for 4 years by myself thankyouverymuch, or that ive been in the same job for 9 years, or any of that other grown up shit)

i feel like i totally dont have shit together and that im totally not prepared to be THIRTY.

god, i can remember being my daughters age and thinking 30 was SO OLD.

guess what... that hasnt changed! LMAO just kidding.

but, jeeze.

ive accomplished quite a bit in my life, but i somehow, dont feel like ive done quite enough.

ive got 2 beautiful kids.
i fought their piece of shit father tooth and nail, legally, until i won and got whats best for them
i put myself through college as a single mom
i finished college and got an AS, BBA, and an MBA
i went BACK to school and am working on 2 post-grad certificates
ive been with the same company for 9 years and worked my way up from the lowest secretary on the payroll to being in charge of a whole lot of shit and even get to act as "president" when big man is incognito
i bought my own house, and its a nice house
i have KICK ASS friends
i think i have mostly been able to keep my kids stable and sane

i know most people dont get that much crap done in their 20's. especially not most single moms.

and i know, im being totally STUPID.

but, WTF. i cant seem to stop obsessing over the fact that ill be THIRTY. ugh.

maybe its NOT that... maybe its just that my oldest child is gonna be TEN. TEN. like a whole freakin decade old. i swear it was just yesterday i was ejecting her 9lb 3oz ass outta my netherregions.


ok, im done now ;)

funnier shit tomorrow. i hope. lol.


LiLu said...

I can't believe you've accomplished so much... I think you should be proud, not scared. You are amazing, lady!

CrazyAssMomma said...

awww, thanks lilu!!!

Secretia Teller said...

You have every right to brag about how good you have things together, it's admirable!


Tom Goette said...

Wow, I am so impressed! You got it going on Momma! Be proud of your accomplishments and don't worry about your upcoming birthday. Age is just a number. My birthday is in a couple days and it will be for the 47th time, so I know from where I speak.
Great post!